A gracious conversation with Catherine Soulas-Baron, Founder of Le Savoir-Vivre, Academy of Etiquette & Modern Manners

Dear readers, as the world has entered into a dress-down culture since more than a decade ago, thanks to the new dress code brought in by the new tech and SME startups, also the co-working environment, the formal way of dressing for work, in particular for men, has been vastly abandoned except for certain industries; as the dress code changes, in certain extent, so as our social protocols and even behavior. Sometimes it’s surprising to see how much we ‘casualize’ the way we dress and the way we interact today! Perhaps it’s only my nostalgia but I somehow keep thinking about how incredible about those sophisticated gentleman qualities that a man once had before, now it became something estranged and surreal that almost be found only in those bygone Hollywood movies circa 1930s, so is that true that being good mannered and disciplined has lost its value and existence? Even when we were living in our own city or travelling abroad? Also, why should a modern man care about their social manners in this era that we are living in? Today, I am glad to have a French expert, Mrs. Catherine Soulas-Baron, who is the Founder of her own Academy of Etiquette & Modern Manners named Le Savoir-Vivre, with offices in both Hong Kong and Singapore, to talk about modern manners and the art of living for a modern gentleman nowadays. As a certified corporate etiquette and international protocol consultant, Catherine graduated from several prestigious universities in both France and the UK, her work about professional etiquette education and elegant French Art de vivre has been featured in multiple leading media locally in Hong Kong, besides, she is also awarded the Prize for Talented French Nationals Abroad in the Art of Living category by the French Ministry of Foreign Affairs.

My Modern Darcy: Hi Catherine, a delight to have you with us today! So first thing first, what makes you so passionate about modern etiquette and social protocol? Is there anything that in your childhood that gives you certain influence and drive?

Catherine Soulas-Baron: Thank you very much MyModernDarcy for your interest in my work. I am passionate about history, heritage, interculturality, and gastronomy. I had the privilege of having a very refined mother and living in the southwest of France when I was little, in the land of d'Artagnan (

mousquetaire du roi, Musketeer) and Armagnac, and later in Bordeaux... It is a region blessed with beauty, climate, terroir, gastronomy, wines, architectural heritage, and history. By the way, I love D’Artagnan’s story, a French hero, a genuine French gentleman, a true inspiration! All of this has shaped my tastes and personality. Later on, I came to Hong Kong, and I was very grateful to the city for welcoming my family and myself; after noticing the fascination of the Chinese for France, I thought that I could perhaps, in a very humble way, contribute to a better understanding of my country's culture, history, and savoir-vivre. Furthermore, discovering a different culture and its proper politness and social protocol rules helps to build bridges, contributes to better understanding and agreement with others, and thus helps to avoid conflicts. It allows to rediscover its own culture as well.

Transmission of my knowledge is for me a true mission that I take very seriously.

MMD: You’ve been surrounded yourself with history, tradition, gastronomy, and wine culture in your life, can you share with us how did these hobbies and knowledge shaped you as who you are today? And which of those intrigue you the most and why?

CSB: When I was little, I used to collect stamps, and the names of some countries would make me dream; I had a lot of questions about the peoples who lived there. I also used to read a lot of historical novels. As a young girl, I didn't live very far from the Palace of Versailles, and I used to stroll through the magnificent gardens. I was always a foodie (in the south west of France all the ingredients and products are amazing) and interested in gastronomy (I am a good cook too!), I was a romantic young girl who dreamed of the charming prince (which I'm not sure if the new generations dream of that anymore!); My parents and I used to browse a lot in antique shops, such as old furniture, porcelain, silverware, and I always loved that. As a matter of fact, I started law studies as my previous idea was to become an auctioneer, my taste for the beautiful objects never left me. My husband and I own 18th-century furniture that we mix with contemporary objects, it looks very beautiful. My profession as a lawyer has allowed me to travel a lot, to meet people with different roles, and to master negotiation. Knowing how to behave in a professional setting is also a vast subject; what intrigues me the most is meeting so many wealthy people who have no taste and no manners. Of course, taste is personal, but education is essential, I always recommend parents to take their children to museums, to let them listen to classical music, to go for walks in nature and look at flowers, birds, sea, sky.. to educate as well their taste buds. I always encouraged my kids to taste everything …. You have to love beauty to be beautiful inside and out. What fascinates me the most is the work and know-how of all these artisans who have left us a heritage in all areas, unique in the world.

MMD: In your opinion, what is quintessential French manners and ‘L’Art de vivre’? And how does it evolve and what makes it still valuable as an intangible intellectual and cultural asset?

CSB: Politness and civility began in France during the Middle Ages with the Art of Courtesy, French Savoir-vivre is a whole Art of living, I would even say a philosophy of life... This art concerns not only behaviors, rituals, but also a lifestyle where elegance, refinement, and excellence are the driving forces. It is also the art of empathy, kindness, and the art of dressing well, conversing well, table manners, the art of hosting, the art of tasting Armagnac or Cognac, savoring a cigar, the art of pairing cheese and wine, the art of decoration, and so on, it is a true heritage, made of codes, traditions, know-how, customs, values, and little secrets passed down through families from generation to generation. Etiquette adapts to societal changes, gender equality, lifestyle evolution, sustainable development, increased tolerance, less formality, a laissez-faire approach with children, but in reality, the fundamental principles of etiquette are still relevant and timeless. It's primarily about respect and consideration, they are especially important in both civil and professional life, a good example of cultural asset is ‘’the French gastronomic meal". In November 2020, UNESCO, the UN organization listed the French gastronomic meal as a world’s intangible cultural heritage, it emphazises the pleasure of tastes, includes the pairing of food and fine wines, the finest ingredients, a beautiful table setting according to classic french style and elegant table manners, the value of sharing. It is a culture itself, a shared vision of eating well, of conviviality, of generosity.

MMD: You’ve been working as compliance officer before you started your own practice, can you share with us what motivates you to be an etiquette consultant? And what is the most memorable experience that you have learnt that it still relevant to you nowadays?

CSB: I am originally a specialist in health law, and I was the legal director and compliance officer of a pharmaceutical company in France, advising the President and the Board. Unfortunately, in Hong Kong, there were no headquarters of pharmaceutical companies, and I did not want to join a law firm. My daughters then went to study in Canada and London, I found myself facing myself, without a job, without children, at a difficult age for a woman, in a foreign country, I was sinking. My Chinese doctor pushed me to have a project, because, "without a project in life, one dies" he told me, so I put on the table about my experiences, my passions and my desires, what I could bring as added value, I am often told that being an Etiquette consultant is far from the job of a lawyer, in fact, not at all, because one manages a set of rules and ethics in the same way. What I have learned is that when you want something despite adversity, you can get it with tenacity, hard work, and a lot of passion. What always touches me is the recognition of my clients!

MMD: Your international academy ‘La Savoir-Vivre’ has offered a wide range of programs from corporate to personal, can you tell us why these social protocols are still having their value and existence even we have entered a whole new generation now? And why it matters?

CSB: First, we must ask ourselves about the definition of etiquette. The French professor Picard says, "At once a set of behavioral rules and a relational code, etiquette addresses multiple aspects of social life." This code exists in all cultures and determines what are good and bad behaviors, Picard asserts that etiquette shows that politeness is not outdated but a fundamental mode of social regulation, the stakes are enormous. Codes and rules of life serve to make life more peaceful and enjoyable in society.

Good manners contribute to harmonious relationships among individuals in a group, whether within the family, among friends, at school, or in the neighborhood. When etiquette rules disappear, there is no more regulation, only incivility, chaos, and violence; we rediscover savagery. The interest in politeness and etiquette is therefore evident.

MMD: Which program is the most popular in your academy ‘La Savoir-Vivre’ and why?

CSB: It's certainly the Table Manners workshop, interactive, joyful around a good meal and good wines. The objective is not only to give tips on good manners, and I wish for my students to immerse themselves in this universe by understanding a bit of French history, its know-how, the reasons why a meal should symbolize the joy of living, the reasons why consideration, kindness towards others make you a distinguished individual, the reasons why knives have rounded tips, how one should savor cheese, why champagne is only made in the Champagne region, or why in France, one must absolutely put their hands on the table! My courses aim to be practical but with historical and social touches, this requires a lot of research work, especially since I made comparisons with English, American, and Chinese etiquette.

MMD: How did you define someone who has great ‘style’ or an elegant ‘L’Art de vivre’? What kind of work is required to achieve that?

CSB: Elegance is a complex alchemy, it's an attitude, a way of being, a blend of sophistication and simplicity, a touch of nonchalance as well, it's being careful and delicate. We don't hurt people, and we have a good sense of humor, we know how to choose dishes and wines, and we never flaunt our wealth; we never ask indiscreet questions, everything is done with a lot of grace. We choose refined objects, chic outfits; we are cultured and humble. Once in Hong Kong at a dinner, a very simple gentleman in his behavior sitting next to me was interested in what I was doing, we had a very interesting conversation, and he was absolutely charming throughout the dinner... I later learned that he was one of the 30 wealthiest people in Hong Kong! But it's also the elegance of the heart, respect, consideration and empathy, all of these qualities are still relevant today. Sacha Guitry, a French actor, said: "luxury is a matter of money, elegance is a matter of education." So yes, it can be learned, and I can teach you how to achieve that.

MMD: If someone approaches you one day and ask you how to become a professional etiquette consultant or coach, what is your advice?

CSB: I would say: Choose me as your trainer as I am the best trainer ever (chuckle)! I will share with you my passion, will take (you) with me in France and you will discover the little secrets of the French Art de Vivre!

Special thanks to Mrs. Catherine Soulas-Baron.

Image courtesy of La Savoir-Vivre, Academy of Etiquette and Modern Manners, Hong Kong SAR & Singapore.

https://www.lesavoirvivre.hk/